The Fox and the Turtle

Lighter Backpacks

7:13 AM

After traveling for nine months, you get pretty good at packing your bag at the end of the stay. Rolling up clothes, stuffing things into the corners, by now we can clear out our belongings in 15 minutes flat. At our last speed packing session, it started to seem a little too easy. I looked from my partially filled bag to Zach's and noticed that neither of our bags were as full as they used to be. I started poking around, looking for the answer to this mystery. It wasn't there. Literally, because I started realizing how many things were simply gone.

I started making a mental list of my own things I had lost before I turned to the things we shared. Opening up our electronics bag, which had been carefully organized with cords and plugs when we started, I found it half empty. Confused more than alarmed, I turned to Zach and asked, "Do you know what we're missing from this?" He stared at the opened bag for a long second, before meeting my eyes and saying, without any hint of emotion, "I don't even care anymore."

Since we've finished our trip, I suppose it's time to check our inventory and see all the things we lost. So here's a list of all the things we don't even care about anymore:

Multitool - Lost stumbling home in the South of France after one too many glasses of wine.

Single socks - That is, socks I discovered were missing when I could only find one in my bag.

Three hats - Two black and one tan beanie with no idea where we lost them.

One olive scarf - Left on a train in a moment of panic when we had to run to catch a bus. RIP (Rest in Poland)

One cozy undershirt - Another garment left behind on some train, but most likely in Germany this time. RIG

Winry's toys - God only knows how many or what ones.

Zach's sunglasses - Left in a host's car even after being repeatedly reminded to get them.

One umbrella - Never made it out of Italy.

One pair of sandals - Actually stolen off my bag rather than stolen while we were on a train, so this one isn't our fault.

Winry's leash - Left on the plane at JFK airport. We're not safe from losing things even in America.

And probably many more that we don't even remember.

There is bright spot in this never ending saga and it happened the same hazy night we lost Zach's multitool. After making it home from the bar, we went straight to bed to try and catch some sort of sleep before our train the next morning. While we had too much wine, I apparently still had the presence of mind to take off my necklace apparently due to some subconscious fear of it poking me in my sleep. But of course taking it off meant just throwing it somewhere far from my body and I completely forgot it the next morning. Thankfully Kerry, our host, found it on the ground and sent it to our location in England. So hats off to Kerry for saving the day!

As for everything else, sweet dreams.

H W Z

A Quick Update

4:45 AM

The Last of It

8:54 AM

Oh the Animals You'll Meet

1:35 PM

Lessons from England

10:55 PM

We may have spent three months in the United Kingdom (sorry Scotland, you're still part of this), but looking back on our hosts in other countries we've actually spent a lot of time with the British. Both sets of hosts in Italy were England born and bred (What's up Helen and Stuart!). We may not have been in England, but we were definitely still learning about English culture. And what we learned especially is that they love talking about the one that got away (aka the United States). So a lot of these lessons were not just our own observations, but similarities and differences that were observed between the two cultures from the Brits themselves. That's right, you're all saying the same things!

What Would the Neighbors Think?

While staying in Wolverhampton, Debbie come home one afternoon to tell me a story that I think best explains this idea. I can't remember for the life of me what you were up to Debbie but I'm going to say at the hairdresser because it fits with the narrative. So as she was getting her hair styled, Debbie casually mentioned the area that she lived in. Upon hearing this information the stylist immediately began apologizing for her relative who lives on the street who doesn't take proper care of his garden. She went on about how she and the rest of the family were trying to get him to take care of it and finally haul all the rusty trucks he had sitting around to the junkyard.

If this scene were to play out in the U.S. it would go one of two ways: it would be exactly the same if you lived in a small town; the hair stylist would have kept her relation a secret and maybe carried around a bit of shame for the rest of that day; or the hairstylist would have replied "Well this is a free country and he can do what he wants." Americans do care what their neighbors think, but can only get through so much hand wringing before they determine it as someone else's problem.

This might sound negative to some but I can assure you that this little quirk is actually one of their best features. While in the U.S. this mentality can manifest itself as trash talk or gossip but in the UK it often culminates into some very real concern and affection for their neighbors. It's because of this that the British possesses a very beautiful ability to know exactly what we needed or wanted without us ever asking. They're simply always thinking about their guests and how to make them comfortable which makes them amazing hosts. This is especially awesome because, as Midwesterners, we are terrible at asking for what we want.

Picking up local slang

Like zucchini suddenly became courgettes and eggplants were now aubergines, I almost didn't realize I was slowly picking up these terms until Zach started pointing out that I was asking my dad to “have a chat” as opposed to simply chatting or that I suddenly had picked up the term “cross”. Though as many terms as I picked up, I somehow could never get used to call the money “pounds” or “quid”. The dollar prevails at least in this sense.

Trains...Sigh

In keeping with our theme of traveling to more and more expensive countries, England did not disappoint for train ticket prices. Booking ahead of time will help you slight, but within even a few weeks of your trip be prepared to be pinching pennies for your trip. Then, simply because they can, they jack up the prices the day of. You can argue it's simply because there's only a few seats left and you're paying for the exclusivity, but it's not just a few extra pounds its almost double the previous days price. We're betting on because they can. Learn from us and book your tickets extremely early, or use Blablacar to get around.

The Brutish British Bad Guys

After the first question (which was always, "But why are you going to Wolverhampton?"), the second question from any Brit we talked to was always " Why are the villains in American films always British?" At first we were at a loss for words, because we honestly hadn't noticed. But after a few more inquiries we tried to look into the idea a bit more. My theory is the fundamental switch in how Hollywood portrays villains. Think of movies past for a second. The villain was usually brutish, getting his or her plan fulfilled through sheer physical force. But as Hollywood has switched to a more clever and calculating villain, they picked out the character that Americans usually peg as "the smart one" to be their antagonist. Something to do with the accent, probably. And if this sounds like a rubbish excuse to you, every other Brit I explained it to thought it was too.

Oh, and the weather!

Our heads up to the impossible weather actually started in France thanks to a postcard hanging in Alice's bathroom. It showed two pictures of the same group people waiting at a bus stop, one in winter and one in summer. It wasn't the differences that were the punchline as the group was wearing heavy coats in the winter and shorts in the summer, but that in both seasons the group was holding up the same umbrellas against the rain. This postcard was simply titled "British Weather".

For the most part this postcard was right, and we endured some cold rain days while we were in England. In fact, since we were in Scotland for all of May I had the coldest birthday I've ever had in my life. At first the weather was a bore to us but then we found the amusement in the dampness (knowing we'd leave it soon of course). Visiting the Jurassic Coast, we found it especially funny as beach goers were wearing winter jackets and sipping coffee as they sat in their little chairs on the shore. The difference from our own beachy summers was clear, but we'll hand it to them for not letting the weather run their summer activities.

It's all Americanized

They seem to know a lot about our culture, though we sadly couldn't say the same back. Films seem to be shared fairly even back and forth, but I saw way more American television shows on British cable than I've ever seen British programming on my own TV back home. Sure, we get what BBC throws our way and the random popular show that makes the jump to the U.S. on Netflix, but sadly even these are lagging behind by at least a season or two.

Further adding to curiosity was finding out that York regularly holds a Fourth of July feast in the city walls. We couldn't decide whether it was to celebrate getting rid of America or that all the food was poisoned and it was a trap. We assumed the latter and refused to attend on principle.

Ethnic for Everyone

We heard this quote in Austria, but it rings true enough to include here: "The three shortest books in the world are American History, Italian war hero stories, and British cookbooks." Ok, so it's more of a joke but honestly the British do keep it pretty simple with their selection. But what they lack in their own cultural dishes, they more than make up for it in their acceptance of ethnic food. You can find a whole variety of dishes, from Chinese buffets to Indian fare (we're looking at you, Spices). Curry actually used to be the nation's most popular dish until it was edged out by Chinese stir-fry. I'm not even kidding. Props to you England, because Italy and France couldn't even handle that. Though if I can call out one purely British invention we noticed, the addition of sweet corn on veggie pizza. Zach was a fan of the chicken tandoori pizza. Brilliant.

So thank you to all the Brits who brought us into their homes and shared with us what we missed since we moved out all those years ago.

Glad there's no lingering hard feelings. Now come visit us in America and we can turn the tables on you all.

H W Z